APPROPRIATE AND NEUROTIC GUILT

1. Appropriate guilt

   -is associated with harm to persons resulting from the misuse of whether degree of inner freedom one possesses in that situation.
   
   

2. Five steps to deal with appropriate guilt:

   • Confrontation = help face the behavior that hurts themselves and others.
   • Confession = person accepts that he/she is responsible for the harm done.
   • Forgiveness = person seeks for forgiveness from the affected person.
   • Restitution = changing destructive behavior, attitudes and beliefs that created the harm.
   • Reconciliation = the person gets back his/her wholeness, a healed relationship with God, himself/herself, and with some of the people from whom he/she had been self-alienated.
   
   
   

3. Neurotic guilt

   - is not the result of the real harm one has done intentionally to persons. It is produced by immature side of one's conscience.
   
   
4. Neurotic guilt is a psychological disturbance in a person. It is usually derived from immature or rigid value system.
   
   
5. Neurotic guilt is superimposed on the deeper guilt as a camouflage.
   
   
6. For most the problem is self-righteousness, which is a way of trying to reinforce a shaky self-esteem by a sense of moral superiority.
   
   

7. Principles of counseling with weak-concienced persons:

   • Establish rapport - often difficult because they tend to distrust and stay away from authority figures. The pastor or counselor represent an authority figure for him/herself.
   • Confront the person with the self-defeating nature of his/her reality-denying behavior. The therapist must reject the behavior, but accept the person.
   • Seek to block the irresponsible, acting-out behavior.
   • Reward responsible behavior with approval.
   • Help the person learn to satisfy his/her needs in socially constructive, reality-oriented ways.
   • Explore the person's aspirations and help her/him make and implement realistic and satisfying plans for the future.

Note: The most important element in any counseling situation is

CONFIDENTIALITY