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SMALL GROUPS LEADERSHIP TRAINING SESSIONS
By: ©Rev. Dr. José Abraham De Jesús-Rivera
PART IV
The training sessions will be divided into the following areas:
First Session:
• Building community through small groups
• Focus of small groups
Second Session:
• Leadership styles
• Group dynamics
Third Session:
• Creative conflict resolution
Forth Session:
• Forming and using discussion questions
• Learning to hear
DESIGN FOR FOUR WEEK SESSIONS
I. Opening worship
II. Purpose
III. Discussion Topics
IV. Closing prayer
It is expected that each session will be one and a half hour long. In each session I have provided the content of what needs to be covered. This content is not the only one you can use. There are a variety of resources that can be used.
What I do not want to provide is the methodology of how to use the material. Since group size, context and needs are different, we hope the trainer will determine which methods can better address the needs of the small group leaders to be trained. Creativity is key to the success of the training sessions, but at the same time it will model to the small group leaders methods they can use in their own ministry.
The sessions can be adapted for a one day retreat or a weekend retreat. The trainer can tweak the schedule and play with it in a way it serve their particular needs. The key issue is to try to cover as much of the content as possible since it has been selected as basic knowledge for small group leaders.
SESSION ONE:
Building Community and Focus of Small Groups
I. WORSHIP (10 MINUTES)
II. PURPOSE:
To discover how to build communities through small groups.
To understand the various types of small groups that can be formed.
III. BUILDING COMMUNITY THROUGH SMALL GROUPS
1. Read the first article: Small Groups in a Local Church,
2. Engage people in the following questions,
• What would be some of the reasons to develop a small group ministry in our church?
• How do you think small groups can impact the life of people in our congregation?
• What do you think are some of the human spiritual needs that can be addressed in our small group ministry?
3. List in a newsprint paper the responses to these questions for later reference.
IV. FOCUS OF SMALL GROUPS
1. Using the article, discuss the five different focus groups as presented.
2. Follow the discussion with these questions:
• Which of these groups do you think will be best implemented in our congregation?
• How do you think a particular focus or focuses will better address the needs of our congregation?
• Are there any program or programs we now have that can be refocused into a small group?
V. CLOSING PRAYER
SESSION TWO:
Leadership Styles and Group Dynamics
I. WORSHIP
II. PURPOSE
To understand various leadership styles and when to use them
To get acquainted with the dynamics that happens in small groups and to understand how they are developed
III. TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION
A. Leadership Styles
Each person operates with a leadership style that is comfortable to him or her. Usually people use a different leadership style depending on the situation. Most people want to think that they use a democratic leadership style. In fact, they may be using a very different one or adjusting one to any particular situation.
Four basic leadership styles:
1. Autocratic: The autocratic leader is one that likes to tell people what to do. He or she tends to be very directive. This person usually tries to limit discussion of ideas or new ways to do things. This style of leadership does not empower people to make decisions or to feel that they are part of the decision making process.
There are times when the autocratic style may be helpful, though. Some of these occasions are: a) when the time is limited; b) when the individuals or the group lack the knowledge and skill to deal with a particular situation; c) when the group is not familiar to each other.
The times when this style of leadership is not helpful is when the goal is to create a sense of team work, when the group has enough gifts and talents to be used, and the group needs to own their work.
2. Democratic: The democratic leader is one that involves every member of the group in the planning, decision making process, and carrying out activities. He or she will ask the group before and senses the opinion of everyone in the group. This type of leader promotes the sense of team work and use the gift of every person in the group.
This style of leadership is very effective when there is plenty of time, the group is well motivated, and the group has the knowledge or the skills to deal with the issues.
This style is ineffective when there is no sense of group, the group lacks the skills necessary for the task, or when there is a strong conflict within the group.
3. Laissez-Faire: This style of leadership is one that gives little or no direction to the group. His or her opinions are expressed only when they are requested, and it seems like nobody is in charge of the group. Usually the group is out of control.
The occasions when this type of leadership is effective is when there is a strong sense of group within the participants. The group knows each other and knows what are the strengths within the participants. They are also familiar with the tasks to be accomplished, so strong monitoring is not necessary.
The times when this style is ineffective is when there is no sense of group or interdependence. The group has a low degree of skills or knowledge of the tasks and when the group is expecting to be told what to do.
4. Charismatic: This style of leadership is based on the personality of the leader. Most decisions and actions are based on the power of the individual. There is not much to be discussed, because the leader makes the decision. The charismatic leader is often a very gifted speaker with strong persuasion power. The leader says and the people follows. Many politicians are characterized by this style of leadership.
There are situations in which the charismatic leader could be effective. In leading large crowds the charismatic leader is obviously effective. When people are not aware of their role a charismatic leader can bring order to the chaos.
There are also instances in which the charismatic leader style can be a hindrance. A charismatic leader will have a hard time allowing people in small groups to be participants in the decision making process or in the recommendations to do any task.
She or he will also hinder the process of team and group development.
After discussing these four leadership styles, discuss the following questions:
• Which of these styles demonstrates success in getting the job done?
• Which styles builds confidence and empowers others?
• Which of these styles will be more appropriate for small groups?
B. Group Dynamics
We can compare a small group to a living organism. A small group is not a static entity. Groups have a life cycle that compares to what we as humans experienced through our lives. The same way we go through different stages, so does the small groups. At the same time moving from one stage to another brings a set of different problems and situations. We have to consider that these stages are flexible. They change from group depending on the vision and challenges of the group.
It is critical for the leaders of small groups to understand some of those changing stages for they bring different dynamics to the group. Those dynamics are experienced in the way the group interact with the leader and with themselves. I will propose four stages of small group development. I encourage you to read each one an discuss them with the whole group.
STAGE I - Developing relationships (Forming)
The role of the leader at this point is very critical. She or he can help the group to clarify its mission and to set the purpose. Most of the activities at this point are to engage the group in knowing each other and developing a personal relationship. The group will look at the leader for direction most of the time. There were a many feelings floating around at this stage, such as anxiety, excitement, hesitancy and insecurity.
It will take a while for people to feel comfortable with each other. At the same time it is appropriate at this time to set the groups meeting schedules and the expectations that will guide the group during its life. It will also be the opportunity for the group to decide on the format they want to follow as a group.
The group will be looking at the leader for direction and guidance in how to deal with those issues. It is like a child trying to start walking by himself. The group is forming and shaping its future and that beginning is very critical to further development.
STAGE II - Trust Development (Norming)
Each person comes to the group with some walls. This stage allows the person to let down those walls. It is a difficult stage but very significant in the development of small groups. The role of the leader at this stage is to be understanding, flexible and open. Worship may take another meaning as people start to open themselves to more participation. It is important to continue clarifying the vision and purpose of the group.
Nonetheless, there are also many feelings during this stage in the group development. Feelings of discomfort, tension, and aggravation are present during this time. Each person in the group is testing how much they can trust and how much of themselves they can share.
The most positive aspect is to help members increase their self-disclosure through involvement. There are persons more apt to share, on the other hand in each group there are the introverts who are afraid. The good leader tries to involve them in the sharing process as much as possible without threatening their comfort level of sharing.
STAGE III - Engagement (Conforming)
At this stage the group has established themselves with a clear vision and purpose, walls have gone down, members can challenge each other, and they are willing to take more risks within the group. The leaders role is less directive as the group begins to take more ownership and leadership.
The emotions and feelings in the group are one of trust, acceptance, forgiveness, freedom to share, and love. The group is able to take more responsibility for themselves. This is the point in which the tasks of the group are effectively undertaken. The sense of cooperation is at its peak as well as the sense of accomplishment.
If the group has grown healthy through the other stages they may start thinking of sharing their experience of a small group with people outside the group.
During this stage conflicts will be present, but people will be willing to negotiate and seek alternatives that are appropriate for the community they have formed.
STAGE IV - Maturation and termination (Reforming)
As the group progresses and move closer toward the defined purpose people will like to continue the on going relationships. However, as I stated before the group should have a life cycle and be of short term. This is where the leaders can play a role in reviewing the
purpose of the group and lead the group towards its ending.
This ending should be clear with the group and anticipated. It is logical to think that there may be some resistance. People have developed a network of friends. People they learned to trust and to share with. Some of the feelings among the group will be frustration, grief and some anger. This is a natural process. The leader, however, needs to be sensitive to those feeling and give opportunity for them to be expressed.
On the other side, the leader can start promoting another type of group. If it is possible creating other various groups out of the concerns expressed by members. Certain areas or themes presented by this group could become subject themes for the formation of new groups. And in that sense multiplying the number of groups in the congregation.
A celebration of the life together is a wonderful sign of termination and the beginning of new challenges and new grouping.
Discussion questions:
• How can the leaders provide guidance during the different stages of the group?
• Identify some of the feelings people go through in each stage?
• Why is it important to set a termination date?
IV. CLOSING PRAYER
SESSION THREE:
Creative Conflict Resolution
I. OPENING WORSHIP
II. PURPOSE
To understand why conflicts are created
To learn ways to deal with conflict in small groups
III. TOPIC FOR DISCUSSION
A. Definitions of Conflict
Conflict happens when there is intentional or perceived interference of one individual or group in the interest or goals of other individuals or groups. Conflict can also be defined as a disagreement between two or more parties. The interest could be over resources, power, identity, status or values.
Resources - how the resources are distributed, owned, or shared.
Power - who controls and participates in the decision making process.
Identity - concerns with cultural, racial, social and political ties.
Status - people that believe they are treated with respect and dignity.
Values - those embodied in a system of beliefs or ideology.
B. Types of Conflicts:
Latent Conflict - happens when interest or incompatible but neither parties are aware of the incompatibilities. The conflict is present but it is not externalized or acknowledge.
Destructive Conflict - this type of conflict is directed to destroy the perceived offender through violence and hostility.
Constructive Conflict - challenges the status quo, uncovers problems and encourages solutions. It is the force behind creativity.
C. Conflict Management
The purpose of conflict management is to seek and stimulate constructive conflict while reducing destructive or violent conflict. Conflicts affects both individuals and organizations. It creates stress, lack of communication, decreases performance, sense of helplessness, and lack of motivation.
D. Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution 1
1. Create an Effective Atmosphere
Creating an effective atmosphere includes personal preparation, good timing, selection of the right location, and opening the conversation with the right statement.
2. Clarify Perceptions
In order to clarify the perceptions you should be able to sort the parts of the conflict, avoid stereotyping, listen carefully, recognize others needs, and empathize(ask why they feel the way they do).
3. Focus on Individual and Shared Needs
Look at the individual needs and the needs of the group. Usually many of those needs are the same. However, particular individuals may have specific needs. The leader needs to look at those individual needs and see how they can be fulfilled in the group environment.
4. Build Shared Positive Power
Positive power promotes building together rather than each person by itself. Power is made up of peoples outlook, ideas, convictions, and actions. When people feel empowered, sometimes they feel they have lost control over everything, including their lives and destiny.
5. Look to the Future, Learn from the Past:
Do not dwell on the negatives of the past or the past conflicts. Look to the new possibilities the conflict opened. One key element is forgiveness, which is the key to our Christian faith and understanding.
6. Generate Options:
Always ask for the conflict partners options. Listen well to them. You can also try free-flowing options, new suggestions, group similar options together, predict possible outcomes, look at all possibilities no matter how silly they seem, use your imagination.
When generating new options do not let the past experiences cloud the possibilities of positive solutions to the conflict.
7. Develop “Doable” - Stepping Stones to Action:
Doable are the good ideas that have a better chance to succeed. List them in order. Plan for the proper action or the steps that need to be followed in order to achieve the solution. Put those recommendations in action.
8. Make Mutual Benefit Agreements
Mutual agreements should produce lasting solutions. Be aware of the feelings and needs of all parties involved in the conflict. If the conflict is dealt effectively, the attained solutions should last. When dealing with conflict always be aware of what is “fair” for both parties. Injustice can be easily done if one of the parties feel that she or he was treated differently than what other person would be treated.
Discussion questions:
• How would you define conflict?
• What is conflict management?
• Give one example of destructive conflict.
• How would you resume the eight steps for conflict resolution?
IV. CLOSING PRAYER
SESSION FOUR:
Forming and Using Discussion Questions and Learning to hear
I. OPENING WORSHIP
II. PURPOSE
To learn how to make and use questions in the small group
To learn hearing skills
III. TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION
A. About questions
Small group leaders need to learn the art of questioning. Since the discussion method we mentioned previously is largely based on questions the leader of the small group needs to know, the type of questioning that enhance the participation of the group and at the same time create the best environment to deal with the issue at hand.
When leading small groups the leader should;
1. Learn to ask good questions:
Good questions are clear, concise and non ambiguous. They should contribute to enhance the discussion of the theme at hand and the purpose of the study. It is good practice to prepare the questions before the meeting rather than at the moment. This allows the leader to move the group in a logical sequence and also help the participants have a clear focus. A wrong question can diverge the group into a discussion that does not have anything to do with the theme and blurs the focus of the theme being discussed.
Good questions also are open-ended. Too often we hear people making questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no.” These type of questions should be avoided totally. Good questions generate discussion and dialogue among the participants and help them reflect on life experiences or apply the new knowledge to their life.
2. Allow several people to answer the question:
As much as possible try to engage as many people in answering the question. This will help bring some differences and points of view around the theme.
3. Acknowledge all answers and do not pass judgment over them:
Do not judge other peoples opinions or responses. We, as human beings are as different as it gets. Our life experiences shape our thoughts and our world views. Since two people have different world views their responses will be different. That does not mean they are wrong, they are responding out of their own experiences and to what gives them meaning in their lives and in their faith.
4. Include everyone in the group:
Always look for people who are not actively engaging in the conversation and allow them to participate fully in all the discussions by encouraging them to respond to the questions. The more introvert people most always take the back-seat. They watch others and try to jump but, if they are not encouraged or allowed, soon they will lose their interest in the conversation and mentally leave the environment or pay attention to other aspects around them.
5. Keep everyone on the task at hand.
One of the roles of the group leader is to keep people focused on the task they are working on. The leader should be aware of the agenda all the time and keep it moving. If one part of the discussion becomes sluggish he or she should be able to understand and read the group dynamics in order to keep people’s interest. It is at this point where leadership is a key in the successful experience of participants in small groups.
B. Guidelines to writing and asking good questions:
1. Ask questions directly related to the theme under consideration. Few focus questions are better than a collection of general ones.
2. Avoid double-barreled questions. These are two questions in one.
3. Keep the language simple and easy to understand for everyone in the group.
4. Keep questions short. Long questions tend to confuse participants.
5. Avoid questions with obvious answers. They do not help people to think critically.
6. Vary the questions format in order to create more interest in the group and to avoid pre-formulated responses.
7. Group questions dealing with one subject together.
8. Try not to use negative wording in questions. They tend to be tricky.
9. Emphasize critical thinking by using follow up questions.
10. Look for other themes suggested by the responders that could be of interest to the group but do not let responses divert you from the theme.
C. Listening Skills:
Good listening skills are very important to the small group leader. Communication between two subjects is based on two different and distinct realities. When we communicate we are using encoded messages which can be decoded by the recipient in a
different way that the message was intended.
There is also what John Savage calls the “Interpersonal gap.”2 It is the result of the
interface between two worlds; what the brain perceives as reality and its interpretation. Each person is affected by that gap and in a communication process misunderstanding results. This process leads to different styles of communication.
Lets examine five styles of communication according to John Savage:3
1. Direct and Open Feedback
Communication takes place openly and completely between parties or groups. Energy is produced and feelings are positive or resolved. Data is checked for accuracy. The relationships are productive and useful.
2. Open but Partial Communication
Communication takes place openly, but some key information is left out. When information is left out, the listener is left making some assumptions around the missing information. Or the listener assumes that what was said was complete.
3. Distorted Full Information
Communication is fully developed, but many distortions of reality are present. The listeners either are forced to believe the distortions as reality or must fill in their own inferences.
4. Distorted and Deleted Information
This mode of communication requires listeners to fill in large gaps of information from their own assumptions. Because much of the information is distorted, the listeners may have difficulty to decide what is reality-based and what is projection or conjecture.
5. Nonverbal Communication
Communication of the verbal style is cut off completely. Individuals expend considerable energy in denial activity. The listeners are left with only inferences, assumptions, and conjectures, which may not have any reality.
As a small group leader you will be communicating with people all the time. One important part of communication is listening.
Listening is an art and a skill that can be learned. However, remember that there is a difference between hearing and listening. When you listen you engage in a one to one.
Here are some reasons why we need to listen:
• to show support to the other person
• to show that you are accepting them and open to them
• to enable each person to speak and be heard
• to ask questions to clarify
• to check assumptions
• to clear misperceptions
• to find key issues or fundamental points
• to know how much understanding is happening in the group
• to provide silence for others to speak
• to determine how close we are to an understanding
• to know when to bring closure to a matter
• to understand the reasons for disagreements
D. Active Listening
Active listening involves paying attention to all verbal and nonverbal messages sent by the other person. The way we position ourselves reflects our involvement in the communication process and how well attentive we are to what is been said.
Posture:
• face the other person squarely
• adopt an open posture
• lean slightly towards the other person
• make good eye contact
• be comfortable and relax
Seven ways to become a more effective listener:
1. Keep silence to show you are actively listening
2. Do not interrupt while the other person is speaking
3. Listen with an open mind and be non judgmental
4. Make the person feel heard by using supportive body language
5. Listen to what is not being said by paying attention to the body language and facial expressions
6. Summarize facts and feelings
7. Ask clarifying or probing questions
Discussion questions:
• What are some of the rules to ask good questions?
• Why is important for people to do critical thinking in small groups?
• What is the communication gap?
• What are the most dangerous communications styles?
• What is the difference between listening and hearing?
• How can you become a better listener?
IV. CLOSING PRAYER
1. Weeks, Dudley, The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution, Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc., 1992
2. Savage, John, Listening and Caring Skills in Ministry, Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1996, 11.
3. Savage, Listening and Caring Skills in Ministry, 15-16.
©Rev. Dr. José Abraham De Jesús-Rivera
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